Purpose!
Few months back I felt lonely. Everything around me was useless. Friends were not fun. Exciting things felt boring. Today I released the reason why!!!!!!
One question I always asked in this phase, why I am not enjoying London and I struggled to answer.
Soho is my favourite area in london. Fridays I go out for dinner with my friend, we take Masala Chai, walk in soho and eat ice cream, discuss life/career/past and express ourselves fully.
This week he wasn’t here, so “I walk alone”. Weather was pleasant, I wasn’t sick anymore, legs were telling me I am fit. I asked myself why this feels so good. Why am I alone here and still feel comfortable? As it wasn’t the same earlier.
Answer my brain gave was memories from a year back. My journey in London started with Leicester square. I lived there for a month. Every day was happening. 2am in the morning and drunk girls fighting ? Sure I like this. I used to walk alone there, explore the area, just sit in the sun, observe people, feel how small I am and how far I have to go. But I never felt lonely or discouraged. Because I always thought it’s the beginning of some crazy ride.
But why was not feeling lonely. I came to London with 0 friends/relatives yet I was not bothered. Why?…… Why?….. Why?…… Because I knew what London can offer, and I couldnt wait to get those things.
Back in covid life was all about work, youtube, workout and sleeping. I always wanted to go Crossfit, dance classes, Toastmasters, Ashes, Wimbledon, Test matches, Concerts, and work for good teams. I was missing these bits of life and London had everything I wanted. I was sure while moving that these things were gonna make me happy and they made me happy.
Humans are human. He doesn’t value the things he has. Within a year I forgot what London gave me. I wasn’t telling myself what London can offer. I didn’t feel eager to explore it. So… What changed? Why suddenly I was lonely? Is that people? but I already had friends here! Is that weather? It was summer!! Then What?
Answer is purpose!!
I always wanted to master 3 pillars of life. Career, Fitness, Art. Pushing to extremes in these areas always gave me happiness and peace.
I forgot to put enough effort to work on these pillars. I was not dreaming about excelling in these areas, not taking steps to make them happen. Instead I was worrying about what I don’t have. London was the reason why I made so much progress in these areas and now I had forgotten it. London still had it. One should focus on what they have and I had London.
Today on the walk of Soho, I was just making plans in my brain to work on these pillors. My body was in Soho but brain was in those pillars. I had purpose on my walk again. I was havings dreams on that walk of soho. This is my favorite lines from a movie ZNDM
“Nazar mein khwabon ki
Bijliyaan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum”
It’s a constant exercise to tell your brain to think from 1st principle, think about why, telling it that this is the reason and it must be done. It’s like an ML model. You train it , it becomes better everyday. Giving your brain a purpose for the things you enjoy and value, make you happy and peaceful. Solo walk in Soho can teach you this.
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